Install this theme
A Normal Conversation Between Two Theatrical People…
Pat-  well no… yeah i guess your right
Me-  its been known to happen on occasion
Pat-  … i miss you
Me-  its been 3 days man! (slaps face)
Pat-  its been 6 (retaliating slap)
Me-  you know i dont speak math (returning with a backhand)
Pat-  (gasp) how dare you accuse me of mathing (ear to hip seatbelt slap)
Me-  (stumbling slightly) i do indeed, good sir (now brandishing a glove from a suit of armor.. and slaps the face)
Pat-  (grasping side of face) you’ve gone to far. its one thing to say i was doing math but now you touch the face (smoke billows out of ears with train whistle accompanying it, proceed to super sayan one)
Me-  (in a low voice) mother of god.. (huge gusts of wind and dust start blowing in every direction, but holding ground and awaiting retaliation)
Pat-  (extends arm and opens mouth to release an earth shaking high C)
Me-  (jaw clenched and eyes watering, turning head slightly to offer a better angle at cheek in last attempt to mock opponent whilst mouthing the words((because all other sound is drowned out)) ‘bring it.. betch.’)
Pat-  (veins pulsating and face still throbbing from the iron slap of that gauntlet. It is becoming apparent that the singing, though effective, is not enough. With another burst of rage i grew three times my size. Eyes now emitting light which remain fixed. The ground around us becomes nothing but two floating islands as the rest of the land drops out below us)
Me-  (as dirt crumbles under foot, i reach into my back pocket and reveal.. a can of spinach. i act quickly and bite the top off and ‘shotgun’ the leafy green matter through my nostil. it doesnt take long until my clothes resemble an animated sailor complete with a corn cob pipe. unfortunately one of my eyes can do nothing but squint, but it was well worth gaining forearms larger than a silverback gorilla. with what little air i have left from the now destroyed and fading atmosphere i say.. ‘If this doesn’t kill me, you’re gunna wish it had.’)
Pat-  (the two god like beings stare at each other for a moment completely still. A tumbleweed floats by and we both stare at it taking a second to admire the irony. and in an instant we lept from our islands. teeth clenched both holding iron gauntlets and with a mighty slap there was nothing and then everything all at once. the universe itself collapsed at this point and the rebound of the energy caused a reexpansion of universe creating a second big bang and thus the dawn of a new age)
Me-  (and in a crater of a fresh planet, two amoebas floating next to one another in primordial stew. one nudges the other and says.. ‘jeesh, i bet that one stung something fierce, huh?’
Pat-  that was probably one of the best things every. I really got nothing to follow up on that (bows an admits defeat)
Me-  i thought you wrapped that up quite nicely. i just wanted to add a little closure. (pats lightly on head.. ‘Pats for Patrick!’)
1:52am
Pat-  jesus christ that was so much more then i bargained for in this conversation. im saving this conversation in a word document.

All aboard the feels train!! GERDERMIT. Naruto is killin me with the meeting his parents and all the sealing stuff and last words and GAHHHHHHHHHHH. Too. Fluffin. Much.

Oh, and Nine Tails? YOU SUCK. Stop killin all my happy.

Fug yiss..

ARE YOU FUCKING MY DICK RIGHT NOW?? YOU DO NOT TAKE KAKASHI. THIS IS BULLSHIT. PAIN, YOU BETTER GET YOUR FACE RIPPED OFF. BUT EVEN THEN, I STILL WONT BE HAPPY… fuck this show. FROM ALL DIRECTIONS. WITH RUSTY APPLIANCES.

Dammit…

Facebook just pisses me off…

My Saturday Night..

Sober. Playing Bioshock 2 multiplayer. In my room. Alone.

Perfect.

Yes. Art kids will get this.

Yes. Art kids will get this.

lolsofunny:

lol this blog is so funny

"let me just grab my mcFUCKINSHITDICKTITTIES!!"

lolsofunny:

lol this blog is so funny

"let me just grab my mcFUCKINSHITDICKTITTIES!!"

4gifs:

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time

Don’t. Fucking. Move.

4gifs:

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time

Don’t. Fucking. Move.

mercifulpoetry:

yeoitsargudo:

picassosfinest:

sumcalichick:

gazeintothehorizontigerlily:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

fuck no

“oh well since that didnt work, let me just turn into bionic man” … like it was noting. 

LOL what the….O.o

mercifulpoetry:

yeoitsargudo:

picassosfinest:

sumcalichick:

gazeintothehorizontigerlily:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

fuck no

“oh well since that didnt work, let me just turn into bionic man” … like it was noting. 

LOL what the….O.o

Source:
Notes: 58171 8/25/12 — 10:42pm Filed under: #bugs  #funny